Category: Tiny Web

Business Travel

 

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This one goes out to all of the business travelers out there. It goes out to all of you who have ever stared at the reflection of yourself in the taxi window and hoped that the taxi would crash.

It goes out to all of you who have ever stared at the reflection of yourself in the train window and hoped that the train would de-rail, that your bones would be smashed and that your soul would be dragged down to the very depths hell.

This goes out to all of you who have ever sat in a red eye flight and have looked at the reflection of yourself in the tiny window seat window and hoped that your flight would be the first flight ever to simply fall out of the sky killing nobody except for you.

This is for all of you who have ever had to explain to your family and friends that, yes, you’ve been to a city (a far away city) but you’ve never actually seen that city but you’ve seen a thousand reflections of yourself.

Rejoice! For you are glorious! You, all of you; all of us, created the basis for the selfie generation and let that be a lesson to us all.

Good evening.

Mobile blogging!

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Good evening. This post was written on my mobile phone. With an app. It took ages to write, has no relevanz what so ever but, HEY, it’s the year of the mobile, AGAIN, so… oh, for fuck’s sake, this takes ages to type … I’ll use the handy the voice to text…

hi dieses Marktes als Vorreiterin mein Handy geblockt heißt Folie ein Gefängnis und Siri Cisco des Termins heute verhaftet Hi Andy Frank O Eismund zu sein simpeler Penis in Tragweite Player Pro einschießen Nacht Papa das schon machte eine Wahl…

Oh, Penis.

Why I won’t be writing for Huffington Post Germany

They didn’t ask me (and probably never will).

In other news: would the idiot SEO spammer kindly stop trying to improve the SEO of this blog. Have you actually read the rubbish I post here? Do you seriously think that I’m interested in anything – anything you have to say? Do you serious think that anyone is interested in anything I have to say? No. Obviously not. Now, bugger off.

Good afternoon.

20 ridiculously odious things that I’ve been forced to write about myself during my lunch break.

Yeah, someone threw a stick. Meike threw it. Because I’m a tiny bit afraid of her I’m actually going to write a list of 20 odious things about myself.

  1. I’m not really good at eating. Plates piled up with food scare the living day lights out of me. I live in Munich, which means that I basically live in a constant state of abject terror.
  2. I drink stupid amounts of Red Bull.
  3. I have created a cocktail with Red Bull called Captain Blue Bear. I drank it once. I can’t remember anything about that evening.
  4. I once tap danced on national television.
  5. I rarely shave.
  6. I shave in the shower with a cheap plastic razor that only has one blade. I don’t use shaving foam and I shave without using a mirror.
  7. I am not ashamed to admit that I am really rather fond of “Toxic” by Britney Spears.
  8. I have more shoes than my wife.
  9. The Sonic Youth song “Wish Fulfilment” is 3 minutes 27 seconds long. This is exactly how long it takes me to get from my flat to work and kind of makes up for being really rather fond of “Toxic” by Britney Spears.
  10.  I am already a tiny bit bored of writing this list
  11. I started smoking when I was 14 years old. Then I gave up. Then I started again.
  12. I will never move back to the United Kingdom.
  13. My basic, standard, emotional state is angry.
  14. The Hulk is my favourite Avenger.
  15.  It took me 24 years to learn to swim.
  16.  There is a Snickers on my desk.
  17.  I was very upset at the end of Breaking Bad.
  18. The best graffiti that I have ever seen was in a bar in Frankfurt – “Mein Freund ist Offenbacher”.
  19. I like breaking rules.

That’s it. I should through this stick to someone else but I have no idea to throw it at. Sorry.