Category: Tiny Web

The night I was a security guard at a Billy Bragg concert.

One night, a very long time ago, I was a security guard at a Billy Bragg concert. It was the only time I have ever been a security guard at any concert or any other thing for that matter. It must have been sometime in 1991 or 1992. There was a war on. I was living in Totnes at the time. I was a student. Totnes is full of hippies. Hippies hate war so they had a anti-war concert and invited Billy Bragg who surprising said yes. For some reason I ended up on the door doing something called “security”. Now because I was even thiner back then it was decided that somebody needed to help me secure the door so they asked a gentleman named Robert (name has been changed) to stand next to me and secure everything.

Robert was a massive man. Huge. Robert was big, hairy and very scary indeed. I knew him because he would sing songs about ghosts, loves lost and wolves at the local folk music evening and he’d bang a bloody big drum whilst doing so. Huge man. Massive. He was also one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met; gentle, caring and wonderfully intelligent. And Massive. Jesus, Robert was big.

So it was me and Robert on the door, hippies in the town hall and Billy Bragg on stage. If you’ve never seen Billy live then  you should. I asked Robert if he’d be alright on his own as I wanted to go and have a quick listen. When I came back ten minutes later, the police were there and Robert was sweating and someone had a bloodied nose. Something had happened. The audience were telling Billy Bragg off for being too “anti-Sadam” and Robert had lost it with a hippy.

We’ve all moved on since then. Totnes doesn’t have a college anymore but they have a new supermarket. I don’t do security and that war ended, leading the way to new and improved wars. Billy has a beard. And Robert? Well, Robert became a woman.

Dark Chocolate

There’s this really creepy advert for Milka Easter bunnies running here in Germany. Everyone who appears in it is turns into some kind of strange Milka Easter bunny monster thing. It’s really quite frightening.

Happy Easter.

I changed my profile image on Facebook yesterday, adding some Milka bunny teeth and an old friend pointed out that it looked like Frank from Donnie Darko. Milka Bunnies meets Donnie Darko? All right then.


Happy Easter. Etc.



A failed attempt



So, yesterday evening I decided to work on a hangover for today. I was aiming for all of the benefits but sadly have managed none. I was so hoping to give you all a behind the scenes look at hangover management (the soups, the energy drinks and much, much more) but, alas, I have a clear head and a stable stomach.

Sorry about that.

The Tiny Web.

Henry Cooke and Teddy Ruxpin 

As you all may know I have been playing around with strange bot things for a while now. You know those weavr things. Well a couple of us having been hanging out in a corner of the Internet that looks remarkably like skype but is in fact a place where we bang around ideas and develop stuff. Most people call these places skype group chats but we call this place The Phactory Bar.

Now, one evening somebody suggested that it would be lovely to have a virtual character in the bar. Then we went to bed. When we woke up Henry Cooke had made one. That’s how The Landlord was born. So now we can order drinks, snacks, music and much much more from this fictional character. Over the course of the last couple of months The Landlord has developed into a multi-channel fictional character that is basically an in joke taken a little too far. At some point someone suggested that it would be lovely to give The Landlord a voice and twenty minutes later Shardcore wired him up some vocal chords. One thing led to another and The Landlord had his own pirate radio station called that plays botstep 24 / 7 (assuming that Shardcore’s cleaning lady doesn’t unplug the power supply). also has traffic reports, horoscopes, adverts and something really odd called algo chat. It’s all automagically generated and it’s mental.

Then someone thought it would be fun to stick the radio station up the bum of a Teddy Ruxpin. Povey bought the teddy, Cooke did something to it and Shardcore made the magic happen. Satan just sits there giggling.



We will all be talking about The Landlord, The Phactory Bar and The Tiny Web at this year’s Campus Party in Berlin so if you’re around pop on by and say hello. Seriously.